The Sexual Ecstasy Workbook

Introduction

The Sexual Ecstasy Workbook is the perfect practical guide for the countless lovers who complain that sexual harmony is too easily broken, that love, rather than being pure bliss, is more like walking through a minefield — where at any moment a false move can turn off enthusiasm and snuff out any chance for orgasmic satisfaction.

The Sexual Ecstasy Workbook presents a user-friendly, easy-access, step-by-step method for connecting more deeply with yourself, your ecstatic potential, your erotic goals, and your ability to appreciate yourself and your partner. It's the tool you need if you do not want to sacrifice your love life to the stresses of a busy life/schedule.



Here are some of the problematic situations you will learn how to successfully manage:

• She is turned on and wants to make love, but she is too shy to express it.

• He wants her but she seems busy, so he doesn't dare interrupt and ask.

• The children walk in and disrupt the mood.

• The world - in the form of ringing cell phones, beeping pagers, droning television, to-do lists, domestic duties, and so on - prevents the focused intimacy that is at the core of bliss.

• He "lands" before she has even had the time to "take off," then goes to sleep; she is frustrated, resentful, and bottled up.

• Fear and resistance prevent feeling much of anything.

• Awkwardness...not knowing how to caress each other sensuously - turns lovemaking into a burdensome chore.

• Shyness prevents us from showing ourselves freely in front of the other and prevents us from fully cultivating erotic pleasure.



Have you ever been at a concert and marveled at the beauty of the sound, the music seeming to lift you off your chair, the instruments so perfectly tuned that each note emerged from the others, distinct yet perfectly blended: one body of sound, created as if no player were separate from the whole orchestra?

Such concerts lift our spirits and cleanse our souls. So it should be with lovemaking.

Lovers are the instruments and the players all at once in a private symphony of love. This means that instruments must be tuned and players warmed up and limber, before the concert starts. Otherwise, love makes cacophonous noise - and no harmony at all.

When lovers know how to move gracefully, breathe deeply, relax fully, and look into each other's eyes and through the eyes into their united souls, the pure music of love rings forth like a symphonic revelation. Such presence in body, heart, and soul is what we need in order to en-gage in love as a journey of harmonious connection, erotic devotion, and spiritual awakening. This is what the path of SkyDancing Tantra is about.

The Sexual Ecstasy Workbook presents a summary of the Love and Ecstasy Training, an aspect of Tantra that teaches us to follow with awareness what gives us joy, and by doing so, open the door to spirit. It presents a proven method: SkyDancing Tantra, which helps partners to create a deep resonance before actually engaging in sex. It teaches the language of bliss. Learn it, and you will learn the attitude of openhearted commitment that will allow you to realize your full potential as a lover and as a human being.

I was recently invited to speak to a gathering of Fortune 500 CEOs. For the most part, these people appeared to be in loving relationships with their spouses. Yet everyone, without exception, had one major complaint: "No time to cultivate good sex." This complaint was confirmed by a recent issue of Newsweek with the cover story "No Sex, Please, We're Married: Are Stress, Kids and Work Killing Romance?"

The sad facts are well-known:

• 44 million Americans are mired in low-sex or no-sex marriages.
• Half of American marriages end in divorce.
• 75 percent of couples are dissatisfied with their sex lives.
• 66 percent of American women do not experience orgasm during sex.
• Most people experience less than 10 percent of their pleasure potential.




Great lovemaking doesn't necessarily happen when a man's penis enters a woman's vagina. Far from it. Intercourse should be the glorious peak of an event, a sacred activity in which lovers, like master musicians, take time to tune in and warm up. Tune up the heart, the breath, and the commitment to love, so that you can be fully present and attentive to your partner in the precious intimacy of each moment.

Great lovemaking happens when:

• You have created a safe space in which you can let go and open your heart.

• The woman feels her man's presence and commitment to her well-being.

• The man feels his woman's openness and acceptance.

• You feel you deserve a good orgasm - because you love yourself - and you're willing to do what it takes to make it happen.

• You keep yourself in good shape so you can practice different love positions comfortably.


You learn and practice the three keys to orgasmic power.

Each lover resonates with the other, and each knows how to circulate energy through his or her own heart and body and back to the other.

I work with people around the world - more than forty thousand to date - old and young, singles, couples, rich, poor, black and white, heterosexual and gay /lesbian, from many religious and cultural backgrounds. I am always surprised how scared people are of sex. Of course, everyone wants great sex. But too few people dare to take the necessary steps that open the door to better sex. Too few people even know the steps to take in the first place. Too many people fail to experiment by taking a romantic weekend away or by trying a new lovemaking style. Too many are too tired to go to a workshop or too embarrassed to consult a therapist. We're often too busy and impatient to take the time to really learn about sex or communicate about delicate sexual issues. So, instead, we stay stuck in our old unsatisfying patterns. Maybe we don't think we are "good enough" or "attractive enough" to deserve great sex. Well, these unproductive attitudes and situations happen to all of us from time to time - and to some of us all of the time.

When I first decided to train in the skills of extended sexual orgasm, I noticed a huge resistance in myself - I always had more urgent things to do. So I had to learn not to listen to my mind. My partner and I took the time we needed to train ourselves in the skills of love. We made appointments to practice, and we honored our appointments. In the end, it paid off in spades. Instead of needing an hour or more to reach orgasm, I found I needed only ten minutes and could have many orgasms in the space of half an hour. My partner knew exactly what to do because I took the time to explain to him everything I wanted, and he took the time to listen with an open heart and a commitment to do it the right way for me. Of course, I did the same for him.

The skills in The Sexual Ecstasy Workbook take practice. I guarantee that you will be richly rewarded for the time and effort you put forth. You'll learn the language of SkyDancing Tantra: a set of delightful skills to cultivate at your own pace. Ideally, I recommend that you practice these skills one to two hours a week. Surely an ecstatic sex life is worth this much of your time! Think of it as fitness training - for love and ecstasy!

More than forty thousand people worldwide have participated in the Love and Ecstasy Training and studied SkyDancing Tantra. Many more have studied it through my books -The Art of Sexual Ecstasy and The Art of Sexual Magic. The method works. It's that simple. All you need is a commitment to practice on a regular basis.

I suggest you set aside one evening a week for practice. I recommend Wednesday, because it's the middle of the week, when many of us feel tired and overwhelmed by stress. At such times, SkyDancing Tantra and The Sexual Ecstasy Workbook are there to give you a boost. Try to leave work by six P.M. Between six and eight P.M., shower, have a light meal, and create a beautiful, safe space in which you and your partner can practice. From eight to ten or eleven P.M., practice a skill, or several, from this workbook. Your repeated commitment to loving each other with awareness and erotic devotion is guaranteed to bring healing and delight to your life.

If you are on your own and have no partner, you can do most of the practices with yourself in front of a mirror, or with your Inner Lover, whom you'll soon meet if you haven't already. Remember, loving yourself is the prerequisite to loving and being loved by another.

These practices work for both heterosexual and homosexual couples. Many of them work well outside a sexual context altogether, enhancing the quality of relationships within families and for friends, too.

If you're in a helping profession - counselor, nurse, doctor, or therapist - this workbook offers powerful resources to support your clients in their inner growth and to help them get started on the path to integrated sexual awareness.

This workbook is designed to stand alone, but you can deepen your practice by consulting my other books, as well as the DVD/video The Art of Sexual Ecstasy. They're a support that can serve as a reminder for people who have already studied my work somewhat, but also a user-friendly introduction for anyone just beginning the exciting journey on the path to ecstatic sexuality.

Now take a deep breath and imagine your erotic sensations beginning to flow throughout your whole body. Say to yourself, "I am worth it." And 'when you say it, feel your voice color your sensations with the potential for bliss.

Now you're ready to start the practice of SkyDancing Tantra.

Bon voyage!

Instead of having sex, try making love. Sex is "work" when your heart isn't in it. Forget about sex. Just play first. Dance, sing, read to each other, make up poems, be tender, open your hearts, communicate. Let sex be the crowning of this exchange. The "work" or effort, if any, is in learning self-acceptance, developing real self-love, paying attention to your breath, befriending your body, and communicating with each other about delicate subjects such as sexual fears and fantasies. Don't count on sex to be the door to intimacy. It's the other way around: first develop intimacy skills. Then make love to enjoy them.

1. Get Started

EIGHT STEPS TO MASTERY

Here are eight easy steps to mastering sexual ecstasy and the fifteen SkyDancing Tantra skills presented in this workbook:







WHAT IS SKYDANCING TANTRA?

Tantra, like Yoga and Zen, is a path to enlightenment. Born thousands of years ago i